• Had a great time in Seattle. Ready to go back.
• Ate seafood all weekend. Except for the fruit crepes & b’fast sammie at Dahlia’s.
• Straight No Chaser puts on an amazing show. Just 10 guys & their voices. No orchestra (save for the tone thingy). And their comedy. Really!
• SNC will be back in December singing what made them famous. The 12 Days of Christmas, as only they can do it! 11+million hits!
• The rain held off during the days.
• Love the flowers at Pike Place. The colors are amazing.
• The flying seafood is also amusing!
• There are amazing gardens at Seattle Center. Where the Space Needle is. And Key Arena. And some neat museums. That’s where the above image was taken. With my phone. Not bad.
• Ted is making spaghetti sauce with meatballs. And spatzle. My mouth is watering. Eat in an hour!
• Listened to one of my twitterverse friends podcast last night. He has an amazing story-telling ability! Thanks, TJ. I listened to Unseasonable Prayer.
• Keep the Stricklands in prayer this week as 6 of the 8 head to Mozambique for the summer.

Have a blessed week.

She reached out this past Christmas Day. A simple phone call from Dad. But, she was in the background telling him to say this or that. She was trying. When she saw me in her hospital room there was such a sigh of relief in her eyes! I truly think because it had been 2 days since the stroke she thought I wasn’t coming. If it didn’t take all day to fly there I would have been there a day earlier. I believe she died once she knew we had rallied around her & Dad. We had all come back together. Our differences set aside. For Mom.

I am who I am because of my mother. Or in spite of her! Just as in recovery, you take what you can use and leave the rest. I still have some “what ifs” in my mind, but I have to remind myself that I cannot go back. Only forward. To being the best mom I can be to Amanda. And Heather & Colette. And the best G’ma I can be to Kate (16 this month), Marissa, Michael, Cassandra, Stephen & Matthew.

Our last time all together was for Amanda’s high school graduation in May, 2005. Too long.

OK, so now I’m teary eyed. *sigh*

"Urn" dad picked out

This was me. May 1975. Graduating from Alliance High School. Alliance, NE. Wow! 35 years ago. I was always the “goody-two-shoes”. Never did the keggars. Nor the pot parties. None of it. Didn’t interest me. I stayed busy with things like drama, band, UIL-type stuff, and watching my 2 younger brothers. 

So who would have guessed that you are looking 30 years down the road & finding this girl addicted to pain killers & muscle relaxants? Yup, that’s me. Addict-girl. And thankfully in recovery! Today I celebrate with 1000 days! One of the first people to greet me some 2 1/2+ years ago was a guy who was close to 1000 days. I remember counting them down with him. And how awesome, yet far away that seemed. And I am there. Praying that someone else in the rooms where I share my recovery hears my story. Hears my recovery. Sees my recovery in action. Gets excited that someone has reached 1000 days! 

Some 3 years ago, I was in talks with my licensing board about penalties & help. I was also preparing for my third back surgery (yes, third). I was devastated that I was looking at treatment after I healed from surgery. What would it entail? What would the stigma be like? I was so ashamed of my behavior! 

 Although this is not a very good picture (last minute phone pic) this is who helped me turn my life around. Charlie M. He ran the IOP (Intensive Out-patient Treatment) I went to for treatment. 4 nights a week for 5 weeks. Unless you don’t do your homework & then maybe longer! I graduated on time! Whew!

I went in to this treatment thing an angry woman. Had only negativity going on. I hated everyone for what they had done to me! Talk about not taking responsibility for my actions! Charlie is a gentle giant full of recovery. And lots of patience. He actually told me some time later that on that 1st night, he figured me for someone who would do only the minimum requirements for my licensing board & then I would be done. I didn’t set out to prove him, or anyone else, that I could do more. God just laid on my heart that I needed to be a beacon of hope for others. I love my 12 step program! Not only for my 1000 days of recovery, but for my renewed belief and love for God. He was really the one who brought me through. I give Him all the praise. 

It has been an amazing journey. Just one day at a time. No more. And tomorrow, God willing, I will have 1001 days.

My Mother, Jacqueline Lucille (Jones) Schroeder, was born on February 6, 1930 to Marian & Kenneth Jones. She grew up in Milwaukee & SW IA. She graduated from Mt Sinai School of Nursing in Milwaukee in January 1952 and was in SW IA for a visit when she went to a dance & my Dad, a 6’8″ gentleman named Bud, asked her if she could dance. “A little” she replied. I’ve hear my Dad repeat that story many times over the past 10 days. They married in February 1953 in Virginia Beach, where Dad was stationed in the Army. 
They returned to SW IA to live & farm. I was adopted in 1957. My brother, Jason, in 1960. Then in 1969, years after being told they could not have children, Tim was born! We lived in SW IA until I was 15, then lived in Western NB until I was 18. Then to MS where Dad took a new job. Then to Dumas, the year before I graduated Pharmacy School. They retired in 1992 and moved to the Hill Country of TX. 

Mom & Dad traveled extensively, mostly via RV, but did take a couple of cruises. One to Alaska and one to Europe. They made many, many friends along the way. That has been evident in the past 2 weeks. More friends than my Dad can even thank. Many he doesn’t know. Mom played in 2 or 3 Bridge clubs, painted china, and recently took on learning My Juong (sp?). I have made many phone calls to these people these past few days and the response was always the same. Shock at her sudden illness & then stories of how Mom had impacted their life. 
Mom left this world on March 17, 2010, at home, with her family by her side. Mom wanted to be cremated and have no funeral. So, Dad decided the heck with the funeral, so we held a celebration of life. It was a wonderful service. The church was full. My brother, Tim, is in law enforcement and there were 20+ officers in attendance, all in full uniform. My dad was in awe of all the well wishers. People he had never met, but told him stories of how Jacquie had impacted their life. 
We have heard stories from Dad, too. Stories we hadn’t heard before. It has been a great time of getting to know each other again. We kids & our families. Time apart has made the bond even more strong. We haven’t always gotten along, as kids or adults, but we pulled together these past 2 weeks. Helping dad sort through papers, pictures, and memories. Trying not to change too much too soon. I am glad my brothers live close by and their wives are beyond words! 
Jacqueline Lucille Schroeder leaves behind, her husband of 57 years, Bud, her 3 children, Shellie & husband Ted, Jason & wife Kim, and Tim & wife Pam. A plethora of grandchildren, Amanda, Colette, & Heather, Nicole & Ashley, and Raine, Ashley, Garrett, Maegan, & Sydney. And great-grandchildren, Kate, Marissa, Michael, Cassandra, Stephen, & Matthew, and Cooper, who has a sister on the way!
Jacquie enjoyed every minute of her life and her friends. She was always on the go. We may not have been close the past 2 years, but the love has always been there. I felt it when she saw me in her hospital room 2 weeks ago yesterday. All the unsaid words in her eyes. I will treasure her last 3 days. I love you, Mom!

This picture is kind of old (think back almost 24 years). But, remember we moved & I’m tired & I don’t know where more current pictures are! This was in a wedding day scrapbook. My mom is sitting, my brother, Tim, is behind her. My other brother, Jason, is behind Tim. Dad is the only guy still wearing his tux. Tim & Jason are such slackers. 
As many of you know, my parents & I are estranged. For over a year now. Although my Dad did call on Christmas day this past year. Haven’t spoken with my mother in over a year. Today is not a day to discuss details, for those resentments have been gone for a long time & it serves no purpose now anyway. In February my Mom turned 80 and they celebrated 57 years of marriage. In May my Dad will turn 80. Both are in fair health. Both my mom’s parents died of stroke/cardiac problems. My uncle (her brother) died young of a heart attack. Not a good history.
Last night during dinner, my mother suffered a massive stroke. So bad, the volunteer ambulance people called in the Medivac. She told my sister-in-law that her fingers felt tingly & my SIL said give the phone back to my brother (who was at my parents). She was slurring her words & my brother called 911. She was flown to a heart hospital in Austin. Didn’t meet criteria for clot buster. 
She had regained some of her motor skills before the helicopter ever took off, but her BP was not coming down. At the hospital her right side became immobile & her speech was not understandable. Amanda met my Dad & brother at the hospital. She was there until 2:30 this morning & back up there at 11 this morning. She said G’ma was startled she was there. If you are estranged, then so are the children. My other brother has also been estranged, but for more like 3 years. They were all there today. I will be there Saturday.
I am flying out in the morning, but it will be 10:45 before I get to Austin, so it will be Saturday before I get to the hospital. 
My grandmother had a stroke & my mother cared for her at home for just over a year. It took a toll on her & my dad. From then on, we knew she wanted no heroic measures. No feeding tube, no vent. Been there, done that. She is not swallowing or speaking. Amanda did say there was a small response of foot movement. She is extremely ticklish on the bottom of her feet & she responded to that. She is awake & aware of her surroundings. Amanda said they finally had to turn the monitor away because she was craning her neck to see if her BP was coming down. That’s a retired RN for you! There is talk of hospice care at home. My sweet RN SIL is staying with her tonight & my other SIL is finally leaving for first time in over 24 hours. 
Will update as I can….

The guy in the middle had a birthday yesterday. Jason turned 50 yesterday. 50!!! Finally I’m no longer alone in this decade. The guy on the left is the baby. Tim. He turned 40 on his last birthday. First, it’s amazing that either one is still alive. We haven’t been the closet of brothers & sister. The age difference had a lot to do with that. Tim was an “only” child through middle and high school. Time has finally mended a lot. And now I’m 2000 miles away from them. God teaches us things sometimes by knocking us over the head. I still have a goose egg sized bump on my head!!
On to Sunday in bullet points:

• Haven’t turned in a post in a month. 
• It was also my mother’s birthday yesterday. 80. No way! We are somewhat estranged, so no recent pics.
• Finished my 7 hour HIV/AIDs online course and passed. It is one of the requirements for license reciprocity. Now to come up with the other $500 for the law exam & App fee.
• Had a Kelly (race) moment this past week. Will have to post soon. Still gathering my thoughts on this interesting revelation.
• Am in the process of changing sponsors. The one I chose when I moved here hasn’t been available. At all. Kind of sad. Thought she was going to be a great choice. I don’t think I really prayed about it. Or didn’t listen when I should have….
• Am looking at the Roadshow’s schedule for this Spring. Spokane or Tacoma (Seattle). Hmmm.  
• My sister-in-law is snowed in. She lives in Pittsburgh. And has no electricity. Boo.
• Ted goes to Seattle for a conference on Thursday. Doesn’t come back until Sunday. Boo.
• Amanda is helping her roommate, Allison, start a non-profit organization. Allison’s mother died of cancer in January 2009 and one of her prayers was to be able to help other cancer patients who have no insurance. Amanda helped design the website & get it up & running. They were approved this week for the 501(c)3. Now they have to do a little redesign to meet the government’s regs. But, check out what they’ve already got up: http://www.womenofselah.org/
• I got my copy of the cookbook for sale on the website. It has a ton of easy recipes. What a great idea for Mother’s Day or a birthday. They’ve already had to order more! And they are doing a Valentine’s daycare for parents on Sunday. They have 61 kids already! Such a blessing. 

This is going to be a great week.

• Amanda arrived over an hour late Friday night (Sat morning). With the time change, she had been up a really long time. Got back to our house about 2AM. Past everyone’s bedtime.
• Still glad we flew her to a closer airport because we couldn’t have gotten back from Seattle without snow tires. 
• Had a wonderful brunch at The Cave B Winery & Estates at Sagecliffe. The restaurant on property, Tendrils, is open to the public. I do believe we will go back. The menu changes daily. 
• Yesterday, we drove up to Leavenworth. This is a mountain town that is like a Bavarian village. Ted & I visited here back in November. Ate a wonderful lunch where schnitzel was on the menu! And spaetzle & red cabbage. 
• Had no luck finding a new ski jacket or boots for Amanda. In a ski town. Go figure!
• There really wasn’t time for Ted & Amanda to make pierogies, so we ate the ones Ted froze Christmas Eve. They were excellent, of course!
• Tomorrow on the menu is one of Amanda’s all time favorites. Mom’s Chicken & Dumplings. There is one more outdoor store we will hit in the pursuit of boots. Maybe a mom & daughter pedicure. 
• Snow also in forecast for tomorrow. Amanda is excited! Tuesday morning will come too quick.

It has been a nice weekend. And I am very full. Still!